I have one pair of shoes that make me feel like a real woman. They’re black, leather, and pointy. A pair of shoes that could do some real damage to a set of balls. They either make me walk tall, or shrivel up and fall, depending upon the day. Their heels loudly clank against the floors, with ever ungraceful stomp I take. The sound makes me feel as though I am a lawyer, carrying a briefcase full of confidential files. I have on red lipstick and a big emerald stone kept on my right finger by a gold band. My hair is carelessly thrown in a bun, I am a very busy woman after all. Such a busy woman that my mind can’t be bothered with things such as doubt. For I am never wrong. Afterall, I am a woman who’s shoes clank against the marble floor. A woman who doesn’t care who’s watching her walk across the room. I have more important things to worry about. Such as clients, business dinners, and my dog– a cute miniture German Shepard. Oh that’s right, I better remind my secretary Lily to drop her at the groomer.
I take a bubble baths after work in my claw foot tub and read novels. Sad romance novels, I cry and cry as I read them, but if anyone where to walk into the room, I would fully submerge myself into the luke warm water. I am a strong woman after all, not a soft one. I reside in a 2 bedroom house, and have a bunch of books. So many that they crowd the second bedroom, I can’t be bothered to organize them. Everytime I finish one, I throw it aimlessly into that room.
My single friends often tell me that they envy me. They say they wish they’d gone my route as opposed to theirs. Apart of me doesn’t understand, because I’m very lonely, but apart of me does. I am a woman after all, a free one at that, a rare thing to be as a woman.
On wednesday nights my friend comes over and we watch our TV show. It’s something dramatic, and trashy. Something that doesn’t have to be watched too closely between sips of red wine. This is the highlight of my week.
At work I have lots of clients who pay me lots of money. Money that is usually spent on basic living expenses, clothes, and trips. I take a trip every three months. Sometimes I go to New York, sometimes I go to a spa, sometimes I ditch work for a couple weeks and explore a new country. On these trips I usually have a couple one night stands. It’s quite fun, I’ve met several interesting people.
I continue walking down the tile floor, my shoes click and clack. The picture perfect desires of the world continue to float through my mind. Neurons twisting and turning like a crystal ball.
Can one be lonely but fulfilled at the same time?