AHH!

I hate EVERYTHING I’ve ever written. I just hate it. I want to be a writer but I don’t even believe I can write and have ZERO faith in myself, and I think the combination of those things make it pretty hard to write. Why do I even care if I’m good or not? BECAUSE I WANT TO MAKE A LIVING.

Why must I make a living? BECAUSE I DON’T WANT TO BE A HOUSEWIFE. Why don’t I want to be a housewife? BECAUSE I DON’T WANT TO END UP WINE-DRUNK WITH A XANAX PROBLEM. Why don’t I want to end up wine drunk with a Xanax problem? BECAUSE I’D RATHER BE A HIPPIE LAYING TOPLESS IN A CORN FEILD WRITING POETRY. And I don’t even like corn? 

Nothing makes sense. My back up jobs are therapist and lawyer… but both of those things require school and I don’t want to go to more school. Four year college then NO MORE. I’m done. I’m out after that. I wish I had faith in myself. How does one have faith in themselves? THEY DON’T.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

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