Paleo

She was a dumb blonde with nothing on her mind, her name was Gina. Pushing her cart through the supermarket. There was a designer handbag in the front of the cart, she stood in the produce aisle taking on her phone.

“Ok so Linda I can eat nightshades? Correct?” She questioned her nutritionist as she prevented the woman behind her from reaching the tomatoes.

“Excuse me…” Carol, the woman behind her said quietly, she was stout and homely. Having put up with twig blond girls since high school; she’d had about enough.

“EXCUSE ME!” She ever so slightly rammed the cart into Gina’s rear end.

“Could you hang on one moment.” The blonde said into her cellphone. “I’m on the phone!”

“Well could you maybe move so I could reach the tomatoes? Not everyone has a fear of nightshades.”

“I’m paleo with a sensitivity to nightshades! How dare you be so insensitive!” She held her phone to her spray tanned chest with a sense of importance.

“Sensitive are you?” The lady picked up a big, fat, juicy tomato and through it at the woman’s abdomen. She gasped as the tomato dripped down her white blouse.

“How dare you!” Gina grabbed a carton of eggs from her cart and began throwing them at Carol. Yoke splattered onto her wire glasses. She rounded the mass cooler of berries and grabbed spaghetti out of an Asian man’s cart who was browsing the squash. Flinging it Gina as she screamed.

“I’VE HAD TO DEAL WITH GIRLS LIKE YOU MY ENTIRE LIFE! IT’S PAYBACK TIME!”

“As have I had to deal with fat jealous bitches like you!” Gina snatches salmon out of her cart and begins to mush it up with the guacamole into balls. She creates a stack of balls, like a child in a snowball fight. Carol does the same with the crushed up ice in the sushi cooler.

“HOYYYY YA!” Carol pulls a karate move, kicking her foot high up in the air, and chucking the ball of ice at Gina.

“Are you serious?! I just got new eyelash extensions!” She runs up to Carol with her balls of salmon and avocado and rubs it into her hair.

“Are you serious? I just had my hair blown out!” Carol exclaims sarcastically.

“Ladies, ladies.” The cat fight is interrupted by a short man in kakis slacks. “We’re going to have to ask you to leave the store. You’re banned from Shelby’s Grocery, we have your pictures from the security footage. Boy is that going up on YouTube.” He chuckled to himself.

“So sorry for your trouble.” Carol says insincerely as she grabs a bottle of chardinae out of the wine aisle. Gina grabs their purses and meets Carol outside in her minivan.

“High five sister!” The woman laugh and pop open the bottle of wine.

“Only five more grocery stores in the city until no one can make us grocery shop again!” Carol says as she took a swig out of the bottle of wine.

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